Unspoken
by Kurai-Hisaki
Summary: Unspoken words and thoughts cause people to drift apart. But what happened to us seemed so much more complicated. Cloud x Tifa


**Unspoken – Tifa's Story**

_Kurai-Hisaki_

**Summary: Unspoken words and thoughts cause people to drift apart. But what happened to us seems so much more complicated. Tifa x Cloud**

**Disclaimer: Characters of FFVII belongs to Tetsuya Nomura.**

**Well here goes my first Final Fantasy VII fic. It's about Tifa's thoughts on Cloud. It's mixed with Tifa x Cloud situations (from the game to Advent Children) that happened, as well as situations that have happened to me. Half of this was part of my life, written through Tifa's eyes – with many time skips. **

**It's a cross between Final Fantasy & real life. See if you can tell which part is which.**

***A fan-art has been drawn for this story! Check it out on deviantArt, drawn by Lizeth***

**Hope you all enjoy it!**

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_-Tifa's POV-_

We were always together… weren't we?

I remember when we were small, I would always come over and you would look after me when my parents weren't home. We would stay up all night playing games or camping out and watching the stars. When I got cold or sleepy, you'd keep me warm and take me somewhere safe to sleep. I remember I was over so much that you gave me my own cup to use at your place. You always made me my favourite drink and always put the right amount of ingredients in it. You'd keep me company, and I would always have fun with you. Looking at those little clay sculptures that you made with me, or rather for me, I wonder why we aren't together now.

I remember growing up wanting to be like you. Being cool, warm-hearted and strong was everything I wanted to be. When other people picked on me, you'd be there to comfort me and to chase away my enemies. I would tell my friends that I have this really cool childhood friend that will always be with me when I needed help. You were like a big brother to me. I swore that when I grew up, I'll be as strong as you so you wouldn't have to protect me anymore.

When you left for SOLDIER, I worried everyday that you wouldn't return ever again. Who would I talk to now? Where would I go when I felt lonely? Who'd protect me when the world was against me? Who do I fight with? Who would teach me to be stronger? And when I _was_ stronger, who'd be there to congratulate me? You said you wanted to get stronger to protect me, but I really just needed you here with me. Those years have been the loneliest days of my life.

And when you returned, I was left to face my feelings again. What did I feel for you exactly? You were different. You didn't remember how much time has passed. You were cold and distant to people like they were strangers. What happened during the years of being in SOLDIER? Why did other people fear you, yet I felt completely safe with you? It didn't make a difference to me; you were still my one and only best childhood friend, but did I still think of you as only that? Were you still the big brother that I looked up to? When other people feared you, my feelings remained the same. I felt as if I could support anything that you did – good or bad. Why was I feeling this way?

Sometimes, I want to ask '_What's up?'_ or '_Are you okay?' _but I never got the courage to ask. Sometimes I want to just start a conversation with you. It use to be something that came to me so easily, why is it that I am having so much difficulty now? I really wanted to know what happened to you… What happened with all those years that we've been apart? All those years I haven't seen you… If I asked would I seem weak? Would you think I'm weird? Maybe I'm not supposed to ask. Maybe I'm not supposed to know.

Our homes were destroyed and long gone when you decided to move in with me in Edge. I had persuaded you to stay with me so I could watch over you. I felt like I was reliving my childhood again. I felt that maybe we could make up all the lost time to each other. Things were great; we started talking to each other again. We would hang out and watch the stars like old times. Things started to change once again. Why was it that I stutter when I talked to you? Every time you flashed me a smile, I would feel my face heat up. My heart raced. I would try to get your attention in everything I did or said. What's wrong with me? Was I in love? Is this what love is? This was a nice change.

One time, when I finally thought that you were opening up to me again and we were closer than ever, you pushed me away. I have always wondered why… Why would you do that to me? It was the one time that I thought I could tell you my feelings. I never said the words, but I tried my best to express it through my actions. It was the one time that you threw my feelings back to my face. You told me that you never cared for me.

I couldn't believe it. So I asked you again, and you said that you never once cared for me or loved me in any way.

What was going on? If you never cared, why did you treat me so nice all these years? If you never cared, why were you always there for me? This confused me – so much.

I thought that throughout all these years, you would be able to develop some feelings for me – even as a friend or a sister. Was I wrong? I kept telling myself that you had reasons for saying that to me, that maybe you were looking out for me. I was in denial. I didn't want to believe you. What happened to the nice big brother that I grew up with?

Then you drifted away from me. Things got awkward for the next few years.

You were busy with your delivery services while I was occupied with things at the bar. We would occasionally bump into each other, say '_hi'_, and that was it. Sometimes it felt like you were avoiding me on purpose. You returned at times when you would not cross paths with me. We use to see each other every day, now we would go on for weeks and months without seeing each other. When our group had our get-togethers – which were rare and rarer the times that you show up, you'd stand in the furthest location away from me. Conversations between us never happened. What happened to our relationship – even as just friends?

When Marlene and Denzel were left in our care, you seemed to be around a bit more. When I was busy, you took responsibility for them. Once again, you were helping me and were there for me, even if it was unintentional. I saw your gentle smile again and this warmed me up immensely. Slowly, you opened up once again, and I wondered if I should pretend not to notice. What happens if things became awkward again after I say something? What should I do? I hate it when I am useless to do anything or can't change a negative situation into a positive one.

Through other people and something unseen, you slowly healed and you even directed some of your light smiles at me. I felt like I could melt on the spot when you smiled at me. I was right; a smile definitely suits you better than your cool exterior. Even though I wished that I could have been the one to heal you, I accepted the fact that I wasn't that person. I promised myself that I would be the person who would be here for you whenever you needed help, just like how you were to me many years ago… I cannot be your healer, but I will always be your endless support. I have decided that I will silently be by your side. I'll continue to watch you heal, and watch over you. I'll be there when the day comes and you can laugh again.

I have always wished that I had always been with you, but I guess I should be content with the ways things are now – after all, they probably won't change. I should be happy now; you are smiling at me and talking to me again, but why am I not? Why do I feel that something is missing? Why do I still dream about you being by my side at night – just like old times?

Things have changed. You were always within arms reach, physically there, but never really there with me. Sometimes you'd give me the feeling that you feel something for me. You always do things for me; treat me nice. You were always there to protect me, just like you promised when we were just children. You'd give me hugs when I least expect it. You would drive me to anywhere I wanted, regardless of the time and weather, and you would stay up to talk to me deep into the night. But you have this distant look in your eyes… you were never really here with me at all, were you…?

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**What did you think – How was it?**

**I felt like I was writing my diary – a bit emotional at times *haha*.**

**Should I write one in Cloud's POV?**


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